In part 1 and 2 of this blog, I have shared with you how I came understand how total sacrifice was not a virtue and how I began the process of finding purpose in my life and my work.
I want to continue the story here.
I remember having the a divine thought that went something like this:
“I never asked you to give yourself up. You can’t change another person and so giving up more won’t make your situation change.”
This dropped into my heart as I considered my life at that point and when it did it was as if I heard angels singing.
When I heard that I didn’t have to give myself up, and that I had a distinct purpose – a spark of life came back into me.
I realized that while being a good wife and mother is without a doubt very important to me; it did not require me to give up my purpose, my why, the person God made me.
I started to understand my purpose and value was tied to me as a human being, and not just my work and not even just my family.
That led me to another paradigm shift which is that while purpose always involves other people but it is never at the cost of who we were created to be.
My marriage ended shortly thereafter and it took me about 2 years to get myself together.
I still struggled with putting myself last but I was learning; I could clearly see where that kind of total self-sacrifice had led me in my marriage and so I was determined to figure out my purpose and allow that purpose to direct my life.
The journey that I went on would take a series of blogs to tell – and I will forever be on this journey but I learned that when you find your purpose – you naturally become your best self and out of that place of wholeness, your loved ones, peers, direct reports and others – benefit more than they ever could have with you as a doormat.